I'm on the verge of something...
on the verge of a break through?
on the verge of a breakdown?
on the verge of a break up?
I'm on the verge of something. I can just feel it!
I'd like to break up with the tamoxifen drug I have to take every day. I've been on it for 1 1/2 years and I have 8 1/2 to go. Well, that's what has been highly recommended to me, according to my oncologists and the MRC's study of tamoxifen on ER+ breast cancer patients taking it for 10 years vs. 5 years. Here's the link if you're interested and have the time...
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-us/cancer-news/press-release/study-confirms-long-term-benefits-of-tamoxifen
I've read the study. I personally think it is incomplete. However, I guess it's probably too much to ask researchers in a study of thousands of patients to consider lifestyle, stress level, diet, exercise habits and overall health in their study.
I know, at this point, if I continue I will most definitely have a breakdown. 8 1/2 more years of this drug is a big deal breaker for me.
I'm voting for a break through instead!
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
A year and a half of healing...and counting
It's been 27 months since my breast cancer diagnosis! When I put it that way it really seems like a lifetime ago.
And, yes, it's been a very long time since I have posted here. There have been hills to climb. Some successes. Some failures. Several lessons learned and some valleys to climb out of along the way. A lot has been learned in fact. But, the more I learn the more questions I have.
One big lesson I have learned is that I had to scale down just about everything I was doing. It just gets to be all too much sometimes. Especially my own expectations. I'm sure you can agree with me! I'm continually evaluating my priorities and values and making sure they are matching up. You know what that means don't you? I have to say that nasty word quite a bit. No. And not feel guilty for saying it.
Not too long after my last post (August 2012) I developed a problem with my implant due to the radiation I had that summer. Basically the radiation caused my skin to thin so much that I needed a "revision" surgery as they call it. Don't worry. I won't get graphic with the gory details here. Let's just say that my amazing surgeon (Dr. Hancey) placed an internal skin graft to support my skin and the new implant. And yes, it's pig skin! Pig skin was used because it is thicker and will help my skin hold together and heal a lot better. I think it's amazing what they can do nowadays.
Ten months later I still feel like I have a long way to go in the healing department. Or, trying to allow my body to heal at least. I'm still dealing with lymphatic cording or Axillary Web Syndrome. I'm doing the exercises given to keep my arm mobile and the swelling down. I'm really trying hard not to have to go back on the medication for the nerve pain. That causes more fatigue. I certainly don't need that!
When something this significant happens you start asking a lot of questions. I continue to ask lots of questions to this day. I'm pretty sure it frustrates my doctors! One question that I am continually asking (mostly to myself) is: what is it that allows healing and what is it that keeps us sick or in a state of dis-ease? That question alone has taken me on a very interesting journey.
I kept telling myself that I "should" be all better by now. There's no more cancer. There's no more chemo. There's no more radiation or surgery. What's holding me back? I could blame it on the continued effects of radiation. Or the medication (Tamoxifen) I am on to keep the cancer from coming back. It does seem to produce some really fun side effects. No, not really that fun. I can handle the pain...most days. It's the fatigue that I deal with on a daily basis that can be just utterly diminishing. I do a lot of things to "manage" the fatigue. More on all of that later. And, more on the answers I am finding from all of my questions.
I'm determined not to give up. The alternative is ugly!
I recently watched a video that was a bit mind blowing for me! Nick Ortner, author of The Tapping Solution (very much worth the read by the way), hosted Dr. Lissa Rankin for the 2014 Tapping World Summit. She talks about true healing and health and her experiences she had as a physician. What really compelled me to watch this video (I am pretty selective nowadays as there is an enormous amount of "information" out there) was what she learned from studying over 3,500 cases of "spontaneous remission" and what the research both tells us and isn't telling us about why people are getting sick. Click on the link below to watch it for yourself. It really is amazing.
The Tapping Solution: Dr. Lissa Rankin video
There have been so many individuals that have been incredibly supportive to me and my family. You know who you are and I give you a big thank you from the bottom of my heart!
The end of next month will mark my 2 year cancerversary! Wahoo!!!
And, yes, it's been a very long time since I have posted here. There have been hills to climb. Some successes. Some failures. Several lessons learned and some valleys to climb out of along the way. A lot has been learned in fact. But, the more I learn the more questions I have.
One big lesson I have learned is that I had to scale down just about everything I was doing. It just gets to be all too much sometimes. Especially my own expectations. I'm sure you can agree with me! I'm continually evaluating my priorities and values and making sure they are matching up. You know what that means don't you? I have to say that nasty word quite a bit. No. And not feel guilty for saying it.
Not too long after my last post (August 2012) I developed a problem with my implant due to the radiation I had that summer. Basically the radiation caused my skin to thin so much that I needed a "revision" surgery as they call it. Don't worry. I won't get graphic with the gory details here. Let's just say that my amazing surgeon (Dr. Hancey) placed an internal skin graft to support my skin and the new implant. And yes, it's pig skin! Pig skin was used because it is thicker and will help my skin hold together and heal a lot better. I think it's amazing what they can do nowadays.
Ten months later I still feel like I have a long way to go in the healing department. Or, trying to allow my body to heal at least. I'm still dealing with lymphatic cording or Axillary Web Syndrome. I'm doing the exercises given to keep my arm mobile and the swelling down. I'm really trying hard not to have to go back on the medication for the nerve pain. That causes more fatigue. I certainly don't need that!
When something this significant happens you start asking a lot of questions. I continue to ask lots of questions to this day. I'm pretty sure it frustrates my doctors! One question that I am continually asking (mostly to myself) is: what is it that allows healing and what is it that keeps us sick or in a state of dis-ease? That question alone has taken me on a very interesting journey.
I kept telling myself that I "should" be all better by now. There's no more cancer. There's no more chemo. There's no more radiation or surgery. What's holding me back? I could blame it on the continued effects of radiation. Or the medication (Tamoxifen) I am on to keep the cancer from coming back. It does seem to produce some really fun side effects. No, not really that fun. I can handle the pain...most days. It's the fatigue that I deal with on a daily basis that can be just utterly diminishing. I do a lot of things to "manage" the fatigue. More on all of that later. And, more on the answers I am finding from all of my questions.
I'm determined not to give up. The alternative is ugly!
I recently watched a video that was a bit mind blowing for me! Nick Ortner, author of The Tapping Solution (very much worth the read by the way), hosted Dr. Lissa Rankin for the 2014 Tapping World Summit. She talks about true healing and health and her experiences she had as a physician. What really compelled me to watch this video (I am pretty selective nowadays as there is an enormous amount of "information" out there) was what she learned from studying over 3,500 cases of "spontaneous remission" and what the research both tells us and isn't telling us about why people are getting sick. Click on the link below to watch it for yourself. It really is amazing.
The Tapping Solution: Dr. Lissa Rankin video
There have been so many individuals that have been incredibly supportive to me and my family. You know who you are and I give you a big thank you from the bottom of my heart!
The end of next month will mark my 2 year cancerversary! Wahoo!!!
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